Relationship Blues

It seems that at this time in the year, North Gwinnett is break-up central. From an objective third party, these break-ups are completely random. If you find yourself breaking up with your special someone, whether it be mutual or not, whether you are the dumper or the dumpee, you should take a few things into account and take your time before coming to a final decision. Essentially, only you can evaluate your predicament because only you know your situation. People can give you advice on what you should or should not do, but you have to do what you think is right. Only you can know where the relationship is going and whether a make-up is possible after a break-up. Above all, think before you act.

If you are the dumpee, your former partner may emphasize that, “I still want to be friends.” It is never a good idea to be friendly with your ex right after a break-up, a time when emotions are still flaring! Feelings are coming to the surface. You are still hurt, angry, disappointed and maybe even irrational. It is unnecessary to display a facade of hatred, but taking a break and maintaining your space is highly recommended. Being friends right after a break-up makes things harder on you, especially if you are the one who was broken up with. It is extremely hard to move from an exclusive relationship to being “really good friends,” not to mention the potential for awkwardness! You need time from that person to let things calm down and adjust to the change. You can claim that being friends works right off the bat, but it never really does as someone ends up fighting or crying. Take time from your ex and feel free to continue speaking but keep it limited. Let him or her know you still care but that you have a life to pick up. It is likely that while in that relationship, you neglected your friends, so spend more time with them and get to know yourself. After feelings settle down, you can attempt to make mends and be friends because time really does heal all.

If you find that you want your guy or gal back, you should consider some major factors. Remember why you broke up. I recently went  through a tough break-up and soon after, I thought I wanted him back. I analyzed the situation and considered why I broke up with him: factors including lying, loyalty and what I deserved came to mind and helped me to move on. When it comes to relationships, every decision should be well-thought. 

Comfort is a huge issue for teenage relationships. My mom has said,”I do not want you settling for a tin can when you deserve the best of gold.” Figuratively speaking, settling should not be an option when there are so many more choices out there. Teens tend to get comfortable with certain people, making letting go of them difficult. Personal comfort is nice but temporary. Waiting for what you deserve will result in long-lasting happiness. Teenagers rarely evaluate the consequences of their actions and look to the future. After a break-up, thinking about the future makes things much more optimistic. Remember that everything happens for a reason.

Do not set yourself up for heartbreak when you know it will not work. We are young and there will be other relationships. Coach Thomas said,”You’re what, 18? Why would you want to put yourself through something like this at your age? You are going to college and there will be more relationships!”

Do not ever settle because there is always something or someone better. Do not be the ugly step-sister trying to squeeze on the glass slipper. Things end for a reason! A break-up will seem like a vapor in the wind a few months from now.